Friday, December 26, 2008

Sometimes death eludes those the most, who seek it. For a long time i believed and i continue to believe that love exists. Not any kind of love, pure, true love the one that happens in an instant, the moment when the whole world seems to have paused. There is

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Thanks to every Bombayite for their 'educated' concerns.

The progress of our news channels in India have been alarming. The word progress is definitely under question here. Over the last few years we have moved away from covering common working people that constitute at least 80% of the population of India. Our coverage in all channels seems to be about celebrities signing films or their marriages or their various break-ups! This forms 90% of our news about approximately 2% of the population of India.

Blasts in India in 2008 only:

Nov. 26, 2008: Series of shooting and grenade attacks, including two on luxury hotels, kill at least 195 people and wound at least 295 in Bombay, India's main commercial city.

Sept. 13, 2008: At least five explosions in crowded shopping areas kill 21 and wound 100 in New Delhi, the national capital.

July 26, 2008: Sixteen small bombs explode in Ahmedabad, killing 45.

May 13, 2008: Seven bombs hit crowded markets and streets outside Hindu temples in Jaipur, killing 80.

The last few days of coverage of blasts were really interesting. Did all the three important officials get shot when entering Cama hospital or were two of them shot outside Metro cinema? Well, CNN IBN said all three were shot at Cama and a couple of other channels said two of them were shot outside Metro. Which is these two is/was the fact?

There were attackers in Cama hospital as well? wow, that's news to me. Because about Cama hospital the coverage was only about these three officers getting killed. I didn't see any footage of patients in the hospital in the 48 or more-hour visual blasts on TV! The CST station received a a few secs in every 30-sec visual. The focus was on how the terrorists entered the station and of course also them firing at our Leopold's cafe. The toll says that 150 people probably died, out of which 100 were Indians. Most of our coverage was on the TAJ and the OBEROI. yes, there were attackers at these places for longer than the others, but they were also present at Nariman House. Did we hear about the blasts at Vile Parle? Nobody died there, so it doesn't make sense to cover it! But what affects us most is TAJ and Oberoi, because we often have dinners there or parties there or hair-cuts there?

So suddenly we all wake up to OUR city, the city that we suddenly love so much - Bombay or Mumbai. Who cares about CST that doesn't remind us of anything, we never traveled by trains, did we? We sometimes were at LEOPOLD's for sure.

If we love it so much why didn't we wake up after Malegaon two years ago? Why weren't we pained as much just because it was in the interiors of Maharashtra - the state that we inhabit? Why should we suddenly act now as the educated upper class because now it hit us badly in the areas that we inhabit? Why aren't we raising our voices against 'Sadhvi' Pragya Singh and supporting the officer whose work we 'supposedly' admire? Where were we when Kumar Ketkar's house was attacked on Jun 5th 2008 when he was performing his duty of belonging to the press? Where were we when Raj Thackeray attacked Bihari students? At our 'high' tea at the TAJ or Oberoi I suppose!

Thanks to all the news channels for covering the Luxury hotels so constantly because they remind us of Bombay, our childhoods and so on. The poor TATAs had losses there, and thankfully this time at least we will rise and do something because we can't go to our favourite place for a hair-cut or for dinner for a while.

We gave rise to this kind of journalism, all of us who feel bad at the loss of our childhood spots! We have focused only on ourselves for a long time and continue to do so. Why don't we want to know what happens to a worker in Malegaon or in Surat or even Telagana for that matter? Why go so far, why don't we want to know about people who live on the streets close to your high-rises? They aren't people enough or their lives aren't valuable enough for we have a billion of those on the streets? Why does it matter that we are size '0s' or '1s'? How come we don't devote that much concern to fellow human beings across the street?

How come the blasts at railway stations not over a year ago, could not raise our 'love' for the city? We such high and mighty educated people don't get affected till 'we' get killed! Then Shobha Des of the world will emerge and tell us how we should not rest in peace anymore. We shall also ask Juhi Chawlas and Aaftab Shivadasanis of the world for their opinions on this act of terror. They have nothing much to say than that they 'condemn' the act for sure, but we HAVE to know what they think. We shall also ask Kapil Sibal to reiterate everything that we present in our channel 24*7 and also allow him to make ridiculous statements like the killing of the police officers was a planned act! We shall also continue to speculate about Pakistan and its terrorists and cache in on the 'international' status of this issue. We may even try to divert this as an 'attack on foreigners' and forget the Indians who were killed in the process. We always want an easy way out. But this time it is a little hard, because this time it isn't railway stations alone.
There has been a lot of economic loss, hasn't there?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

It happens on the face of this earth sometimes when you run away from human beings and end up with them as well. Can't live with and live without them. They hurt, they judge, they shout and I go back to them over and over again. Where is my sense of self worth? I got it from them, i continue to get it from them, I am paralysed!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Golden leaves descend as I walk on the streets of LA
I saw them green on the last street
Miranda brushed past me with a six-month old in her arms
A red smile ran across my lips. Miranda stopped to chat
"It was just yesterday,wasn't it, we were siting here on the aisle?"
The cry broke our moment, Miranda had to go, she turned to look at me waiting.
Swami lived here, right here, held me when I was drunk.
Iyer's gone, I don't know this place anymore.
Soon Andy swings by,"what are you shooting today?"
"In Bombay", I say. The mudras in my hands suggest the eye-piece.
There is no power anymore, somehow the government changed its rules.
It was just yesterday that we edited all day,the computers rest now.
Image has frozen on the screen,white noise gathers
students flock around me, "M'am the image suggests.." I can't hear.
What do they say? It was just yesterday that I used to hear.
Christina touches my face, "Your skin is dry", says she.
I had a different skin just yesterday. "Do we know each other?"I ask
"We did, yesterday", says she.

Monday, August 04, 2008

A brown wind blew by
brushed my hair a little.
Yellow and red flowers showered from Heaven
like in Marquez's world. I couldn't believe it.
Marquez was right.
I now can walk on water, though I am no demi-God.
I can fly with the wind, time stops when I ask it to.
Flowers shower on me at will. I like the world.
Does all this actually happen? I am dreaming, I think.
Then you snap your fingers, I see those images all over again
I see them, I see flowers, I see you descend from Heaven, I fly,
I like the world.
My eyes were closed, you opened them, you opened them to Marquez
I see you, I see flowers, I fly with you.
We fly together into the world of Marquez.
Marquez was right.
I wouldn't have known him, if I hadn't met you.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

If I were asked what I would want to be and give everything away, I would say I want to be a courtesan-poet, but a modified independent one. That would be cool.
Why, I ask myself? Because, it means living in poetry, music, dance and love without commitments. Quite strange I feel when I write this. I feel the need to commit to Love. But when I look at myself now, I am a courtesan, so don't need another life huh? I am a performer...quite a good one at that.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Graduate Programs! When I was applying here I was told how difficult it is, and when I look at most of the people around me I see how easy it is! One expects experienced people in the program, only one out of ten is experienced. So we go through the shitty fifth standard/grade politics where one has to look good in front of some authority or that I shouldn't share my notes because she will score more than I. Holy God! Save this f...ing world! or Save me from expecting perfection from others and also from going insane!
This page has sometimes become a place to vent, may be that's what all writing is.
My struggle with teachers continues, do we all struggle with them? There is always a need to see perfection in them. I don't think teachers are petty, not because they are not human, but because after having undergone all that education I expect their knowledge to have helped them transcend that stage that human beings go through.I encounter such kinds all the time. I wonder how they do not understand how much students depend on them for their approval. Or may be it is just me because I haven't had any such source ever in my life. I think my childhood was just taken away from me having had to meet struggle right from then. May be I should thank God that I was introduced to that when I was little. It just never stops though or may be I am so used to it that when it is not there I find means to struggle. I think students expect teachers to not judge, but not every teacher wants to be an ideal or works towards an ideal. I don't know why people undergo all that education if they can't work towards an ideal, why do anything if you don't aspire to be perfect?
My rant about teachers... I love them and hate them all the same. I must admit that I am because of all the great teachers I have met, so it isn't so sad after all. :-)

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Can I dance with you?

Dheem zip thom zap
zip zap dheem, thom zap dheem
now they merge, my rhythms with yours.

I don't understand zip
I never tried to understand zap
Dheem and thom live in me.

You brought zip to me, I danced.
I want to know zap, to dance more
I see them merge: the zip, the zap, dheem and thom
In your heart, in mine.

You dance Zip-zap. I dance dheem-thom.
zip dheem zap thom.
They merge, I see them merge, like tears with eyes.
Tears dance consistently with intermittent regularity
waiting to be zipped by you.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Zup, Zup, my hands cut through water
As I turn around I see it emanating stars,
did my hands make them or did you, God?
Just a glance takes me through two days
what will a life time of seeing you do to me?