I have been called an extrovert by people close to me but I realize I am not. I feel it in large crowds. I am lost in large crowds especially when it has nothing to do with me. i want to run away and may be hold an intimate conversation with someone, get to know one person at a time. why do i hold back? what makes me this clammed up individual i can never explain. I dont like not knowing what to do. I am always seeking something, running away from something else. This is a strange mix. It confuses me and consumes me, i wish to share it with someone, i just dont know who. I run to God then, that is the only constant factor in my life.
One thing i realised is that girls look at guys at sexual entities too, at least at most of them, there are very few whom you see as friends. It is a definition that you give, that's all.