Thursday, September 01, 2005

Tears just kept rolling down, I couldn't control them. My grandparents burst out crying. All of us were crying. My world of the three of us was broken. The train moved and I could just see images far away at a distance. That was the end of my speech. My mother was crying. Someone in the train asked her why we both were crying. She said that she had to take me with her, separating me from my grandparents and she was sad because of that. I found that revelation ridiculous. That lady looked at me like sympathetically. I hated that look. Could she save me from the situation? Why the hell should she know about me? I think my mother wanted some sympathy, may be.

The keys opened a door. I entered a dark house, suddenly my mother switched on the lights and said, "This is your house." I stared. I sat and she went into the kitchen to cook. It was almost an hour after entering the house. I was still, sitting in the same place. I wasn't thinking anymore. Somebody rang the bell. It was the same bearded man, my father. He came in and smiled, "Hello, how are you?" I feigned a smile. He came to touch my cheek and I moved my face away. Then my mother came and said, "say hello to him, he is your father." I stared at her. Then again she said, "come, say hello." I nodded. And she came close to me and said, "come baby, say hello". I was exasperated, "I don't know", I said. Then this father of mine asked her, "Is she always like this? Can't she talk? See how your parents have brought her up!" To which she promptly replied,"It is the first day, she has just come. And she was crying so much.." "Was she crying?", he asked, "Wasn't she happy to come here?" "She has stayed with my parents for so long, she is attached to them. It will take time", said my mother. I watched. I was really scared, I wanted to run away.

I was asked to sleep on a bed along with them. I was put in between them. I didn't like that. Suddenly my mother said, "My mother used to say that parents shouldn't put their children in between, this distances the couple. So let her sleep near the wall." To which my father agreed. I was put near the wall (the side of the bed near the wall). I held my hands tight and almost crouched towards the wall. Then my mother's arm fell on me. I pushed it away. I wanted my grandparents' arms. I was very afraid of these people. Some sounds woke me up early in the morning. I looked around. My parents were talking loudly. They were fighting. My mother said, "You took so much money, where is the account for it?" To which the reply was, "I earn, so I spent, you don't need to have an account of it." She said, "I give all the money to the house..." I got down from the bed and went there. I watched them shout. Suddenly my mother noticed me. "Oh, she has woken up", she said. "Why have you woken up so early, why don't you go and sleep?", he asked. I didn't know what to say. I looked at my mother and went back. I just sat there. I wanted to run away. I wanted to cry, but i was too scared to cry. Then he came in and said, "Last night you were asking your grandpa to save you from here. You were telling him that we were beating you. You think he is going to save you?" "Yes", I said. Then I asked him, "Was I saying such things? " Then my mother came and said, "You were speaking in your dreams." I said, "ok." I was happy, I had dreamt of my grandpa.

They went away and continued shouting. I was too scared to step out and go to the loo. It had been almost an hour. I saw my mother fall against the edge of the wall. The marble hit her on the forehead. That man had beaten her. She beat him back. "Good", I thought. But I was very scared. She came to give me milk, I drank it. She said she was going to the doctor. I asked her the reason for going to the doctor. She showed me the wound. I told her that i will accompany her. She said the doctor was close by and she would be back soon. I said, "I am scared." She assured me that she would be back soon. I sat there still and stared at the walls and prayed that that man shouldn't come into the room while I am alone.

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